Happy Endings

We always go on about how all movies have Happy Endings and how life isn't like that all the time......BUT after watching a movie tonight (semi chick-flick) a romancy one with the UNhappiest ending ever.....I felt seriously ripped off, and wanting to scream 'WHYYYYYYYYYYYY' in amongst the tears I was crying as to WHYYYY it had to happen that wayyyy, whyyy couldn't he have just LIVEDDDDDD and then SHOWNNN her the letter and they WOULD have lived happily ever after. Freaking storms....freaking boats....freaking need to be a hero.... I think its cos I alwaysss imagine myself as the main actor lady when it's an emotional movie and beCAUSE of that I feel like it's so REAL....ha, quite pathetic really...but i've always done that...imagine myself as main actress....(I also do this with songs too, imagine myself as the person singing it in front of millions of people, i love the power of imagination and how that can be so so so different to reality...in my imagination i can sing/dance/act....i fight coming back to reality something chronic) ;) BUTTT yep, because i imagine myself as the main actress i bawl my freaking eyeballs out with emo movies...romance/drama-ree/chick flicky ones....or maybe i dont even imagine myself as the lead actress but maybe i just imagine what they're feeeeeeling....yep that might be it...imagine the deep freaking gut wrenching pain of having the sucky ass thing happen in these hollywood movies.... so for the next little while, i'm going to hate on boats and storms if that's ok......even if its not ok, i'm still gonna hate on them.. :)

I will never complain about happy endings again. Bring them ON!

Reet
LOVESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Happy Endings... :) :)

25 yearssssss

I am 25 years old in....coincidentally (?) 25 days...

It ACTUALLY seems SO little time ago that I was sitting on the A courts at Kelston Girls contemplating with my friends whether we should go back to class or just wag and go to one of our houses, down to Lynmall or across to McD's. But that was nearly....TEN YEARS AGO? What the? Wohsiz....okay even before writing this I didn't think it was THAT long ago...dang.

Each birthday since I was 18 seems to just buzz me out that I'm another year older cos it just doesn't feel like I am.....like....I'm not what a 25year old looks like...! :) When you're a lil wee thing 25 is when you are all serious and have a serious job, you're married with a kid or two......but when you actually GET to 25....although alotttt are married with kids and a sweet job (eager beaver christians, ha) majority just arn't aye. I dunno....again, it seems like such a little time ago that I was sitting in hosptial the night before my first of tonnes of operations, the big back one.....I can still remember waking up real briefly in Intensive Care and the intenseeeeeee pain ?I was in, but how ammmmazing that crushed ice dad was feeding me with a spoon and how I had just enough energy to open and close my mouth to take it! Just....feels....like....yesturday...but that was...THIRTEEN years ago! Ab-so-lout-ely...crazy.

I still remember the fun times me and my brother would have in our backyard, we'd play hide and seek or go and look through the shed in the back....i SWEAR he made me shoot a bb gun one time when i was realllly little, mum came out on the deck and I swear he told me to try and get her, i missed, but i got close. He says i'm full of it....but it DEF doesn't feel like i dreamt it. :) One of his fave things was pretending to fart....until I knew what being a girl looked like, he got me to do it with him for years....ha! :)

I'm abit of a crazy cat with taking photos aye, I take my camera everywhere and get pretty snap happy when people are around. So dont wanna forget aye. I loveeeee memories. 25 years seems sooo crazy. I've been alive...I've LIVED for 25years....ca-razyyyy! I'll live this again (assuming) and I'll be FIFTY! wohhh sizzzzz. I DO hope ma Jesus comes before then, that'd be a sweet deal. :)

But yea, still feel way younger than 25 aye....like I cant even fathom turning 30....30 is THIRTY!!! That is thirttttttyyyyyy. Un-freaking-real. :) I met this amazinggggg woman about a month ago now, she was like 70 or something....but it was as if a 20year old was stuck in her body! :) She was just amazingggg, so youngggg, she had so much energy, she was FULL of life and was hillarious and seriously awesome! I wanna be like that, she is my ageing hero. :)

I'm 25 in a month, hard-outtttt. :)

Reet
Becomes
a Quarter Century

Calvary

Lately, I've really been missing the good ol' hymns at church. And hymns how they used to be sung, not spruced up and made all 'up to date' to get hip with this generation...just the classic old school hymns. I used to go to a church called Calvary Bible Church when I was a piddler and all there was were hymns, so when I wasn't in sunday school singing songs like 'If i were a butterfly'...I was in the congregation singing the hymns and I just MISS them sometimes. Somehow, sometimes they just seem like they have so much more meaning and depth to the songs ya know?

I think music is my kinda....channel (?) to connecting best with God or when I feel closest or just....that's yea, when I connect and feel closest to God is through music and just singing (as terrible as I sound) but I love it! Tonight we sung Amazing Grace at church, but it had this random chorus bit in it that didn't exsist back in the day, and was to a total different tune.....I guess ya just go through stages of missing familiar things when you were growing up huh.....

The one verse which always blows me away out of Amazing Grace is the verse...

When we've been there, TEN THOUSAND YEARSSSSSSSSSSSSSS,
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days, to sing God's praise,
Than when we first begunnnn.

TEN THOUSAND YEARSSSSSS? can you even imagine! That sometimes gives me the kick in the bootay that I need to what I spend my time thinking about. The pointless things on this Earth I worry and stress over that are SO temporary. Because this is simply a BLINK...literally, a measly lil BLINK of a time we are even here on Earth..then we go to heaven for ETERNITY? TEN THOUSAND YEARS will be a blink compared to eternity..FLIP! Can you even fathom that? I cant comprehend/fathom 'eternity' aye....as much as a baby human forms in a ladies stomach from a teeny lil peice of icky with a normally painful lil punk of a egg....and 9months later a FULLY FORMED HUMANNNNNNN makes it's way out of a area which is way harsh...BUT a HUMANNNN just CREATED itself from those two tiny things? I dont think I will ever lose the WOW-ness of that.....much like the TEN THOUSAND YEARS thing - wow wow wowww!!!

Another verse from a hymn i like is the

We have an anchor, that keeps the soul;
Steadfast and sure as the billows role...
Fastened to the Rock which cannot move,
Grounded firm and deep in the Saviours Love.

and all the lyrics in 'What a Friend we have in Jesus'...and 'Because he lives'...

Just good childhood memories singing these ones, even though at the time I thought they were so slow and boring, but now....I miss them every so often.

I still definitely love todays songs though. :) Music is just real important to me, because that just seems to be when I feel closest to God. As well as through prayer of course with my 4 lil Jesus images I have going on in my head when I pray.

Jesus is just the man huh. I dont pay him a fraction of the attention he deserves, if he was a friend down here that loved me as much as he loves me and I treated him how I do, he would have run a mile years ago by now. I just cannot wait for a Jesus hug! One hug from him will make up for all the crap experienced down here on Earth! :)

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Hymns