So it seems no matter how many votes I get each day for this scholarship I've applied for through AMP, the larger the gap is between me and the top few people....Today I'm sitting on 1,087 votes, which is really amazing....THAT many people have voted for me to win my dream, to go on Mercy Ships and serve for 2months (hoping those 2months will help me realize whether I go back long-term or not when I graduate).
These top few people though...have nearly 2,500 votes. I'm wanting to do this honestly and morally. I know some of them are doing it by telling their voters how to vote unlimited amount of times by clearing memory on their computer. This IS my dream, I'd like to say I'd do ANYTHING for it....but....I gotta be.....**Bona Fide**....definition of that, is the title of my blog name!
Hence....this blog posts title...'needing a miracle'. I need a miracle to be able to get the Peoples Choice Scholarship. That's a whole lot of votes I need to catch up, get in the lead and STAY in the lead for the next 36 days, agh.
I want this SO so SO SO bad! I do have to trust though, that if I don't win - there is a reason that I cannot see or understand, as to why the timing just isn't right this year. Ma Jesus sees the bigger picture, and he knows when is right - as HARD as that is...to be 'ok' with that. Not saying I'm not going to cry a river if I don't get this scholarship - I know I will. But I will rest assured after the tears have fallen, that Jesus knows best - he knows my heart - he knows how bad I want this - and the right thing will happen - and it will be the best thing for me - no matter how gutted I am about it.
Doesn't mean I'm not going to try as hard as I can through as many channels as I can to get these votes. Doesn't mean I'm not going to pray heaps about it, to get votes, to think up new creative ideas on how to get votes, and if I dont get enough votes, to soften the hearts of the judges of AMP.....and help them sense my inTENSE passion for this kinda thing through my application so they PICK MEEEEE.
(If you havn't seen my application yet - here tis)
http://doyourthing.co.nz/2010-02496/rita-oliver
But then, I don't think anyone actually reads my blog except Jesse. ;) It's more just a brain bla for me anyway - but sup sup Jessicaaaaa.
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