Happy Endings

We always go on about how all movies have Happy Endings and how life isn't like that all the time......BUT after watching a movie tonight (semi chick-flick) a romancy one with the UNhappiest ending ever.....I felt seriously ripped off, and wanting to scream 'WHYYYYYYYYYYYY' in amongst the tears I was crying as to WHYYYY it had to happen that wayyyy, whyyy couldn't he have just LIVEDDDDDD and then SHOWNNN her the letter and they WOULD have lived happily ever after. Freaking storms....freaking boats....freaking need to be a hero.... I think its cos I alwaysss imagine myself as the main actor lady when it's an emotional movie and beCAUSE of that I feel like it's so REAL....ha, quite pathetic really...but i've always done that...imagine myself as main actress....(I also do this with songs too, imagine myself as the person singing it in front of millions of people, i love the power of imagination and how that can be so so so different to reality...in my imagination i can sing/dance/act....i fight coming back to reality something chronic) ;) BUTTT yep, because i imagine myself as the main actress i bawl my freaking eyeballs out with emo movies...romance/drama-ree/chick flicky ones....or maybe i dont even imagine myself as the lead actress but maybe i just imagine what they're feeeeeeling....yep that might be it...imagine the deep freaking gut wrenching pain of having the sucky ass thing happen in these hollywood movies.... so for the next little while, i'm going to hate on boats and storms if that's ok......even if its not ok, i'm still gonna hate on them.. :)

I will never complain about happy endings again. Bring them ON!

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Happy Endings... :) :)

25 yearssssss

I am 25 years old in....coincidentally (?) 25 days...

It ACTUALLY seems SO little time ago that I was sitting on the A courts at Kelston Girls contemplating with my friends whether we should go back to class or just wag and go to one of our houses, down to Lynmall or across to McD's. But that was nearly....TEN YEARS AGO? What the? Wohsiz....okay even before writing this I didn't think it was THAT long ago...dang.

Each birthday since I was 18 seems to just buzz me out that I'm another year older cos it just doesn't feel like I am.....like....I'm not what a 25year old looks like...! :) When you're a lil wee thing 25 is when you are all serious and have a serious job, you're married with a kid or two......but when you actually GET to 25....although alotttt are married with kids and a sweet job (eager beaver christians, ha) majority just arn't aye. I dunno....again, it seems like such a little time ago that I was sitting in hosptial the night before my first of tonnes of operations, the big back one.....I can still remember waking up real briefly in Intensive Care and the intenseeeeeee pain ?I was in, but how ammmmazing that crushed ice dad was feeding me with a spoon and how I had just enough energy to open and close my mouth to take it! Just....feels....like....yesturday...but that was...THIRTEEN years ago! Ab-so-lout-ely...crazy.

I still remember the fun times me and my brother would have in our backyard, we'd play hide and seek or go and look through the shed in the back....i SWEAR he made me shoot a bb gun one time when i was realllly little, mum came out on the deck and I swear he told me to try and get her, i missed, but i got close. He says i'm full of it....but it DEF doesn't feel like i dreamt it. :) One of his fave things was pretending to fart....until I knew what being a girl looked like, he got me to do it with him for years....ha! :)

I'm abit of a crazy cat with taking photos aye, I take my camera everywhere and get pretty snap happy when people are around. So dont wanna forget aye. I loveeeee memories. 25 years seems sooo crazy. I've been alive...I've LIVED for 25years....ca-razyyyy! I'll live this again (assuming) and I'll be FIFTY! wohhh sizzzzz. I DO hope ma Jesus comes before then, that'd be a sweet deal. :)

But yea, still feel way younger than 25 aye....like I cant even fathom turning 30....30 is THIRTY!!! That is thirttttttyyyyyy. Un-freaking-real. :) I met this amazinggggg woman about a month ago now, she was like 70 or something....but it was as if a 20year old was stuck in her body! :) She was just amazingggg, so youngggg, she had so much energy, she was FULL of life and was hillarious and seriously awesome! I wanna be like that, she is my ageing hero. :)

I'm 25 in a month, hard-outtttt. :)

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a Quarter Century

Calvary

Lately, I've really been missing the good ol' hymns at church. And hymns how they used to be sung, not spruced up and made all 'up to date' to get hip with this generation...just the classic old school hymns. I used to go to a church called Calvary Bible Church when I was a piddler and all there was were hymns, so when I wasn't in sunday school singing songs like 'If i were a butterfly'...I was in the congregation singing the hymns and I just MISS them sometimes. Somehow, sometimes they just seem like they have so much more meaning and depth to the songs ya know?

I think music is my kinda....channel (?) to connecting best with God or when I feel closest or just....that's yea, when I connect and feel closest to God is through music and just singing (as terrible as I sound) but I love it! Tonight we sung Amazing Grace at church, but it had this random chorus bit in it that didn't exsist back in the day, and was to a total different tune.....I guess ya just go through stages of missing familiar things when you were growing up huh.....

The one verse which always blows me away out of Amazing Grace is the verse...

When we've been there, TEN THOUSAND YEARSSSSSSSSSSSSSS,
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days, to sing God's praise,
Than when we first begunnnn.

TEN THOUSAND YEARSSSSSS? can you even imagine! That sometimes gives me the kick in the bootay that I need to what I spend my time thinking about. The pointless things on this Earth I worry and stress over that are SO temporary. Because this is simply a BLINK...literally, a measly lil BLINK of a time we are even here on Earth..then we go to heaven for ETERNITY? TEN THOUSAND YEARS will be a blink compared to eternity..FLIP! Can you even fathom that? I cant comprehend/fathom 'eternity' aye....as much as a baby human forms in a ladies stomach from a teeny lil peice of icky with a normally painful lil punk of a egg....and 9months later a FULLY FORMED HUMANNNNNNN makes it's way out of a area which is way harsh...BUT a HUMANNNN just CREATED itself from those two tiny things? I dont think I will ever lose the WOW-ness of that.....much like the TEN THOUSAND YEARS thing - wow wow wowww!!!

Another verse from a hymn i like is the

We have an anchor, that keeps the soul;
Steadfast and sure as the billows role...
Fastened to the Rock which cannot move,
Grounded firm and deep in the Saviours Love.

and all the lyrics in 'What a Friend we have in Jesus'...and 'Because he lives'...

Just good childhood memories singing these ones, even though at the time I thought they were so slow and boring, but now....I miss them every so often.

I still definitely love todays songs though. :) Music is just real important to me, because that just seems to be when I feel closest to God. As well as through prayer of course with my 4 lil Jesus images I have going on in my head when I pray.

Jesus is just the man huh. I dont pay him a fraction of the attention he deserves, if he was a friend down here that loved me as much as he loves me and I treated him how I do, he would have run a mile years ago by now. I just cannot wait for a Jesus hug! One hug from him will make up for all the crap experienced down here on Earth! :)

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Hymns

No better than...

Years ago I recognized my kinship with all living things, and I made up my mind that I was not one bit better than the meanest on the earth. I said then and I say now, that while there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. Eugene V. Debs

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Humility

Agape

Agape is understanding, creative, redemptive goodwill toward all men. Agape is an overflowing love, which seeks nothing in return. Theologians would say that it is the love of God operating in the human heart. When you rise to love on this level, you love all men not because you like them, not because their ways appeal to you, but you love them because God loves them.

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Love through Gods eyes

I'm Yours (Ukulele) Too cute Not to post..

I've watched this video so many times and STILL can't get enough. He is just the cutest lil shnook face doing this song! Jason Mraz would be proud... :)



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Musical Shnookies

Maid of Honor...

That's right! You are now looking at a Maid of HONOR!!! That's me. :) VERY honored at the fact that I was given that role for ma beste estes wedding in April 2010! :)

It happened, Chris proposed to my awesomeness of a friend Jessicaaaaa! On 6th of December 2009! :)

I'm pretttty excited I get to be alongside Miss Jessicas very special time of life in prepping for her wedding! Very much a supa huge honor! :)

I notice mouths okay....and these guys both have supa hot mouths, so I am going to be babysitting some hot mouthed babies in a number of years time! Sweet gene mix guys, nice work! :)

Hot couple though huh! I'm a fan. Chris does get my Reet stamp of approval, and that would be a stamp hard to come by for claiming Jessica for life! I dont bust that stamp out for anybody! :) So nicely claimed Chris.

Exciting times to come - Congratulations Ngapawa! You are going to be one B U T full bride!!!!

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Beste Este finding life partner!

1 down 2 ta go... :)

So two days ago I finished my last assignment for the year! SUCH a good feeling! The minute I clicked 'Submit Application' online, I clicked on my Itunes, clicked on 'Shimmy' playlist and was convieniently (NEVER can spell that word) home alone so was free to shimmy all I wanted all round my house! SUCH a good feeling! All that hard work, hours upon hours on the laptop and flicking through books, remembering/learning how to (freeken) reference, searching readings and highlighting all those main points, paraphrasing, getting in the heads of theorists, sacrificing going to social events because an assignment is due (that REALLY rips my nightie), crying because the printer doesn't (freeken) work just as you're leaving for uni and it's due in less than a hour - followed by the ink running out... (oh ma giddy aunt)...but I have DONE it. Har lay lu YAHHHH!

Year 1 of my degree OVER, 2 more to go. These shnooks are what keep me going....

I'm excited for where this degree takes me....for years my huge passion is to get on board Mercy Ships, (the worlds largest free hospital ship) that tours Africa. I was meant to be going for 2months next year in 2010 and from that trip hope to learn whether I'm a longterm server, or if short term is all it will be for me in which case I would apply to be based working with children in hospital. Things have changed, new exciting things have come up..... so that lil plan is being postponed for abit! As much as that bums me out that I wont get to see the beautiful African babies next year and have my heart break/ache for them but also experience mufussa sized happiness from being surrounded by those lil shnookies next year, I know it will happen - just not yet.

What those exciting changes are is a whole nother post....Will get onto that soon. :) Arn't all these bubbaz just so beautiful - heck they bring me SUCH joy!

TOP video clip

So this is quite a basic video clip, simple, black and white...but I'm SUCH a fan.

Def helps I'm a whole lotta keen on the song too, makes ya 'bob' ya head in a to the front but slightly to the side kinda motion.... you'll see. ;)

Enjoy the coolness of this clip and good ol' Eric!

Soulsuckers

Free..Joy..Health..Shimmmyyy

I like the words'n feelings these pictures I found represent - to me anyway.. :)

Oh yea! Makes me wanna go out and get ma shimmy on!

A wise man by the name of Nelly once said "Pop something, move something, SHAKE YA TAILFEATHER" :)

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Inspiring Pictures to MOVEEEE :)

You're the Voice

An awesome song from 1986, John Farnham.
This is him singing it at a Coldplay concert in Aussie recently.
Love.This.Song. Put those lyrics to use, in acTION! :)

Cuts out for about 10seconds in the middle, but listen to the end, Coldplay joins in. :)



We have the chance to turn the pages over,
We can write what we wanna write,
We gotta make ends meet, before we get much older.

We're all someones daughter, we're all someones son.
How longggggg can we look at each other...
Down the barrel of a gun?!

You're the voice, try and understand it,
Make a noise and make it clear,
Wohhh a wohhh a wohhh ohhh x2
We're not gonna sit in silence, we're not gonna live with fear.
Wohhh a wohhh a wohhh ohhh x2

This time, you know we all can stand togetherrrrrr,
We have the power to be powerful;
Believin we can make it better...

We're all someones daughter, we're all someones son,
HOW LONGGGGG can we look at each otherrrrrrrr,
Down the barrell of a guuuuuuuun?

You're the voice, try and understand it,
Make a NOISE and make it CLEARRRRR,
Wohhh a wohhh a wohhh ohhh x2
We're not gonna sit in silence, we not gonna live with fear,
Wohhh a wohhh a wohhh ohhh x2 (repeat chorus x a jillion)


*P.S ''You're the voice!!!!!!!!!!!!!'' USE it! :)

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The Power of the VOICE :)

Hosanna

Heal my heart and make it clean;

OPEN UP MY EYES TO THE THINGS UNSEEN,

Show me how to love like you, have loved me...

BREAK MY HEART WITH WHAT BREAKS YOURS;

Everything I am, in your kingdoms cause;

As I walk from earth into, Eternity.

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Prayer

Aisling Symes 1 - Samoa 119

Today, an horrific day, where just under two hours ago, lil 2year old girl Aisling Symes was found in a Septic Tank 200m where she went missing one week ago, dead, unsure of how long she was in there, or how she got there. The area is now cornered off as a crime scene while investigations are carried out. I cannot even BEGIN to imagine the gut-wrenching agony and pain the parents are going through - the guilt of the mother from turning her back for a matter of seconds when Aisling walked away from their property in Henderson. A strong christian couple that attend a local Baptist church in Henderson.....least baby Aisling is with her Jesus in heaven now. Prayers go out to the mum and dad.....again, cannot even comprehend the pain they will be experiencing. Ohh...I just ....I just actually cant imagine it....

That is one life lost.....



I was reminded by someone though....shortly after the news came out about Aisling...that this is 'just' one life. And yet this stirred up a wholeeeeeeeee lot more media and attention and compassion from people, than the 119 - sorry incase you missed that ONE HUNDRED AND NINETEEN lives that were lost about a fortnight ago in Samoa from the Tsunami....pictured above is the burial of 7 family members. Several people burying SEVEN of their family members....thats 7 Aislings....A mum, 2 sisters, a brother, grandad, aunty and cousin! Can you IMAGINE!!!!! The man I heard on the radio...ELEVEN family members....he has NO-ONE left....ALL ELEVEN of his family members, WIPED out...


So many kiwis directly connected to Samoa with their families there, so many lives the past fortnight affected from family members over in Samoa either dead, missing, seriously injured, homeless.....


Sure we are sending lots of aid....sheets, blankets, food, money. Real awesome stuff and support we are doing.... but....



I dunno...just processing my own thoughts here.....I'm actually gut-wrenched about lil bubba Aisling...I work with children her age every day and love every one of them soo sooo soo much, would do anything for them and if anything DID happen to them, I would be a write off, buckling at the knees with overwhelmed emotion...seriously. They all mean the world to me...... so the fact they found a lil shnook their age in a septic tank....guts me to the core...oh....completely.... :'(



It just guts me 'abit' to see the hardcore-ness (I'm allowed that as a word) that this one life gets (and totally worthy of it, not underestimating it at all) but 118 MORE lives were lost, including a WHOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE heap of lil ones her age less than two weeks ago, and that just didnt get the same response/attention/compassion/sympathy...... just hacks me a lil....suprises...not sure what....



Still processing....





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The processing of thoughts...

Addicted...

Addiction - defined as:

1. The state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming.

2. The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with or or involved in something.

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Thats Amore...

The more videos I watch on Youtube about it....
The more stories I hear from people via email who have served on it....
The more I read from the book about it, written by founder Don Stephens...
The more I talk about it to family and friends...
The more I think about it...
The more I pray about it...

The more I just cant WAIT to get on board...

MERCY SHIPS.
http://mercyships.org.nz/

Togo, Africa, 2010?

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Mercy Ships' Work

Prostitution

I HATE that this is legal in New Zealand. What kind of country makes that legal? Frick frick frick. AND what kinda guys actually 'use' these services. AGHHHHH!!!!

Makes me sick when I think about the guys that use them, and breaks my heart when I see a prostitute just waiting on a corner.

Came face to face with it tonight, talked to a girl my age, waiting.......

OH why do they resort to this....is it horrible and terrible for them? Are they so numb that it's just a 'ordinary' job to them, what drives them to do this....last resort? Screwed up childhood, abuse, the recession????? Pressure for finances, for all I/we know they might have a office job, where they get in their corporate gear, get their morning coffee, sit at their desk every day, but at night, they become someone else, to get the extra cash.........I just DONT know. I HATE that it's legal so much. There are so many other options out there for woman, if they only had the support around them or someone close enough to them that just cares and loves them enough to try everything they can to just....protect them from going to jobs like this.

Horrible. Ask me about tonight if you want....in person. I could have done more. I hate that I didn't, my mind hasn't stopped thinking of all the things I could have done to stop her from getting in that car, sooner. I dont understand why God didn't answer my prayers for that hour or two following, and I'm not supposed to understand, I'm beyond disappointed, way beyond. Anything could happen to her, not saying I'm miss 'Life Saver' and that any chat that I would have had with her would be like this genius life changing chat where she broke down in front of me, admitted it was a last resort, pleaded for help, I find her a job or course to do, somewhere cheap to live, financial support and get her on an awesome new path of life.....as amazing as that would have been....it could have been totally possible...jesus could have given me all the right words to pull on her heartstrings and that could have happened. Could have. Didn't.

Too late....

Insomnia

Sooooo it's 5:01am, I have to get up in 2hours to get ready for work.
I havn't slept yet....got into bed at midnight, but am WIDEEE awake. WIDE awake.
The birds have been chriping since THREE a.m.......seems they dont sleep either - punks.
I dont know how my body actually puts up with my no sleep, this is SUCH a regular occurence.

Hmmmm, things I have thought about tonight/this morning.....
contemplating going for a run...
what i would do if i won a million dollars, jess, joanna and amie would be pretty lucky. :)
my brothers wedding
mercy ships
weight loss
things coming up for uni
jesus
prayer
my uni gurls
among other things....

I want sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

I think i'm going to invest in some herbals tomorrow, see how those puppies work.
Before i resort to the hardcore sleeping pills.

Would a bb gun hurt a bird?...... ;)
I swear with the amount of birds that live in the tree on my driveway I could start up a couple of avaries aye. Their 'voice boxes' should be on mute from midnight to 7am. A law among feathered creatures.

OK, happy sleeping all you regular sleepers. Appreciate those zzzzzz's you be gettin'. :)

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SLEEEEEEEEP

101 Things You Should Do Before Going To Heaven - No.5 - Clean Someone Else's Toilet

On the road to heaven, there are some potholes - unpleasant jobs that are part of living in this not-yet-perfect world. Some people try to avoid them. Others grit their teeth and dive right in. Still others delegate, not because they can't do what's needed, but because they won't. They feel ''dirty jobs'' such as these are not worth of their time. Occasionally there are people who break all the conventional rules. They not only do their own dirty jobs, but they volenterr to help others with theirs. The sense of community, service and sacrifice these people share captures a little of the spirit of your future home in heaven.

Go ahead and be one of these ''oddballs'' here on Earth. (You'll fit right in when you get to heaven) Volenteer to clean someone else's toilet. Wash dishes at a homeless shelter. Dig latrines at a church camp. Help with disaster relief in a third world country....not because you have to but because you want to love others in practical, personal, Christlike ways.

When Jesus washes the feet of his disciples at the Last Supper, he was doing a ''dirty'' job. Cleaning off the dust, dung and sweat from sandled feet was something only servants were expected to do. But Jesus loved his followers so much that he was willing to put their comfort and needs before his own. That's what real love is all about.

What you do to serve others isn't as important as the heart with which you do it. The amazing thing is that once you start serving others, you'll find that even a ''dirty'' job wont feel dirty anymore. It may still be challening, tedious, or tiring, but the satisfaction you'll recieve by helping others will make it feel more like a blessing than a chore, nothing like a pothole at all. The End.

Go on, get ya hands dirty! :) Today is RAK day! Random Acts of Kindess Day. This kinda thing definitely shouldn't be a annual day people recognise, should be a daily thing we're doing without even thinking......agree with what it says, sometimes it might still be challenging, tedious and tiring - it's so much easier to just pretend you didn't see it...keep driving, or look the other way, or turn around, or not reply to a request.....but do it anyway. Turn around, stop, reply to the request, volenteer, acknowledge and totally do it. Becomes a habit of the heart pretty dang quickly. And to sound as cheesy as these crazy Americans, the satisfaction totally comes. :) Dooooo itttttttt. :)

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Servant Hearted...Hearts.

101 Things You Should Do Before Going To Heaven - No.7 - Get Comfortable In Your Own Skin

So a few months ago I said I'd bought a book called '101 things you should do before you go to heaven'.

The three latest entries I've read are my faves so far...I'll post one of them tonight:

Number 7: Get Comfortable In Your Own Skin

When you get a new pair of shoes, the only way to make them comfortable is to break them in. The same goes for your body. God has given you a one-of-a-kind physical form. He wove it together just for you and created it to reflect His glorious image. God intertwined both beauty and wander into it, inside and out. But your body is not an art object to be put on a pillar and admired. It's a tool that the real you, the eternal part of you that loves and creates and hopes and dreams and worships, uses while you're on this earth. Once you get to heaven, you'll recieve a new body-one that wont break down or wear out. But you're not there yet. So the more comfortable you are in the body you have right now, the better you'll be able to use it and enjoy it as each day here on earth unfolds.

You dont break in a new body by mistreating it. You need to take care of it, like any tool, so it can do its job well and last a long time. You break in a body by getting off the couch and becoming active whenever you get the chance. Get down on the floor and play with a child. Use your muscles to help your new neighbours move into their house. Put on a swimsuit and get some exercise, no matter what size that swimsuit is. Jump and skip and life and kneel, even if you jiggle and wiggle and need help getting up.

The less self-conscious you are, the better job you'll do at breaking in your body and becoming confortable with who you are and how you're made. So, ask God to help you put your inhibitions aside. Stop comparing yourself to others. Get up and get moving. There are places in this world where only a tool like you can do the job.

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Temporary Earthly Bodies